Puppies are a gift, and we don’t deserve them.
That said, puppies are also a lot of work! Anyone who’s ever had a puppy can attest to the soul-crushing, head-spinning emotional rollercoaster that comes with adding a dog to your life.
Some things just go part-and-parcel with a new dog. Here are six things inevitable things that happen when you get a puppy.
1. You realize your apartment is a death trap.
Electrical cords. Precariously-leaned artwork. Apparently-delicious scented candles? A new puppy won’t just show you the riskiest things in your apartment, he’ll eat them. It won’t take long before your once-trendy pad is barren of all things un-puppy-proofed. If your puppy isn’t constantly walking a fine line between “sweet and obedient” and “OH GOD, SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW!” is he he even a puppy?
2. You kiss your security deposit goodbye.
That beautiful wool rug you splurged on when you found the perfect place? It’s now the world’s most expensive puppy pad. Puppies chew on cabinets, they scratch on doors, and don’t even get us started on what they do to window blinds when given the opportunity. We sure hope your landlord is cool with you getting a dog.
3. You become BFF with your vet.
You better like your dog’s vet because you’re going to be spending a lot of time with her over the next year. Between vaccinations, scheduled wellness checks, and the inevitable ingestion of foreign substances, you and your vet are going to be seeing a whole lot of each other while you get your footing under this whole “dog owner” thing.
4. You reach new levels of exhaustion.
Didn’t know it was possible to wake up 14 times a night and still (groggily) get to work on time? You do now. Puppies have endless energy and – surprise! – they don’t care if you’re tired. If you haven’t asked, “Seriously, how is he still so hyper?” yet, you haven’t hit rock-bottom. We’ll wait for you here.
5. You long for that thing you used to have called “me time.”
Remember what being really, truly untethered felt like? Us either! Your puppy is now the master of your calendar, your after-work plans, and of course, your weekends. If you got a puppy because you wanted a best bud, you’re in luck; your pup is always down to hang out. Even when you’re pooping.
6. You fall unstoppably, undeniably in love.
Puppies are frustrating, they’re mischievous, and they’re expensive. They’re literal walking liabilities, but goshdarnit if they’re not everything. It takes a few weeks, but once you get over that new puppy hump you’ll find love like you never knew existed. Breathe it in. That new puppy smell won’t last forever, and you’re going to miss that puppy breath once it’s gone.